Anonymous asked: Hi! I feel as though I am very insecure about describing myself as asexual. I haven't told anyone and everyone assumes me to be a heterosexual. I always feel uncomfortable when friends are talking about, "Oh he's so hot. I'd tap that."stuff like that. I haven't even told my parents or my closest friends. My family supports all sexualities and identifications, or so they say. They're very judgmental and I'm terrified of every telling them because I know what they will say. I don't know what to do
If you are thinking you would like to come out but are nervous about your reception, perhaps you could try testing the waters by bringing up Asexuality in a way that is unrelated to your Asexuality? Here is a playlist of coming out advice videos posted by various Asexuals. One or more of them might speak to you and offer helpful advice. Here is some written advice on coming out from a number of Asexuals, in a useful, short quote format.
One thing I think it is important to remember is that you do not have to come out to everyone if you don’t want to, and it isn’t everyone’s business what your A/sexual orientation is anyway. You can be out to some people and not to the rest of the world.
I hope this helps, and as silly as it is coming from some random faceless blogger, I really do empathize with you and hope that everything goes your way no matter what you decide to do. From the bottom of my heart, good luck.
Anonymous asked: Hm, hi? Sorry for my bad english) It's probably stupid but I try to ask anyway. I'm just trying to understand myself. I always considered myself as bisexual, but recently began to doubt. I mean, I'm 19 years old and I just... I don't want sex? I mean, I like to watch porn, read porn and play porn, but I don't want to try it in real life, and it doesn't cause me any sensations. Or am I just don't understand? (1/2)
How to understand whether you have sexual arousal or not? And how do you know you’re asexual, or you have a low libido? Not that it’s very important, I’m just feel calmer when I realize where I belong. I tried to talk to my friends, but they just laugh and say that I invent yourself unnecessary problems. They are good and they understand the problems of asexuals, just don’t think that I can relate to them. Maybe they’re right and I think too much? Sorry to bother you. Btw it’s nice blog! (2/2)
I’m going to send you to this planned parenthood page about sexual pleasure. it deals with arousal and more, and is more knowledgeable than I am. It also has some explanations of the way things feel (symptoms, if you will).
You know you’re Asexual if you don’t experience sexual attraction/desire toward anyone (Gray-A and Demisexual experience some sexual attraction sometimes). Here the AVENWiki defines libido as the desire to feel sexual pleasure.
I don’t know a lot about Asexual porn use, although I gather that some Asexuals do watch/read porn (usually for masturbation purposes).
Sorry to just link you to everything but I think that you will be able to more fully define yourself through reading what each page has to say. I hope this helps. And, you’re not bothering me.
ausphin asked: Anon, the term "normal" is obviously highly problematic because it suggests that you can be 'abnormal' for your sexuality or that there's only a few 'normal' ones and the rest aren't
Anonymous asked: Someone I know considers themselves romantic-asexual, they don't like the thought of sex but enjoy being close to someone, ie: cuddling, making out, ect... Would they classify as romantic-asexual or "normal"?
Anonymous asked: Do you think that there's a certain age where you're old enough to determine your sexuality? I'm always told that I'm "too young" and it's "just a phase" and I'm confused. - a 14 year old asexual
I think you can determine your A/sexuality as soon as you understand the concept of A/sexuality through which to determine it. If you are Asexual and understand Asexuality enough to know so, then you are Asexual no matter your age. Plus, sexuality isn’t static, so you’re welcome to redetermine it at any time (“just a phase” is a silly thing to say to someone: of course it’s a phase, perhaps a phase you will continue in throughout your life and perhaps not). You don’t have to treat your A/sexuality as a life choice that will affect you for the rest of time as soon as you determine what it is. It’s just a facet of you that exists right now and may or may not exist for the rest of time too. Redetermining your A/sexuality is always okay (or never redetermining it).
Anonymous asked: So I'm about 99% sure I'm asexual, but if I don't masturbate for awhile I've found I have dreams about sex. I also enjoy masturbating but generally feel gross afterwards. Is this normal for asexuals?
I don’t know what’s normal as far as masturbation, but I believe Asexuals experience it in essentially the same ways that Allosexuals experience it. This would be a good question for a sex education blog. I am under the impression that masturbation, sex dreams, and grossness are all pretty common among people of every sort, although it is unfortunate when anyone feels gross about masturbating. It is a totally not gross thing for you to do, and I support your masturbatory tendencies wholeheartedly - you are not gross at all for enjoying yourself without dependency on or cost to others. Here is the planned parenthood masturbation page, if you’d like to read it.
Also: having dreams about sex doesn’t necessarily indicate your sexual preference, so I would say that it doesn’t affect your Asexuality unless you believe it does, in which case I’d trust you to know. (I’m not sure if this is precisely what you’re asking, but I thought I’d throw it out there for good measure).
Anonymous asked: Sorry, for asking this, but do romantic-asexual persons mind the gender of others? I´m really curios about that...
Yes. We typically classify romantic aces as homoromantic, heteromantic, biromantic, and panromantic depending on their gender preferences.
Anonymous asked: Could an asexual person date someone and just never feel the desire to go to an incredibly physical level with them?